The Science Behind Attraction: What’s Happening in Your Brain When You See Someone You Like

The Science Behind Attraction - What happens in your brain when you see someone you like

The Science Behind Attraction - What happens in your brain when you see someone you like

WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. Your body stopped feeling like your own. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach; you were almost nauseous. Your heart threatened to beat right out of your chest. You felt flustered, and your palms started to sweat the moment you saw that person. You could not think straight for days. And, oh, you could hardly sleep. You felt giddy; you felt terrific. You had just met someone you really liked.

For a long time, human beings thought that emotions: like, lust, love, attraction, attachment arose from the heart. However, science has proven that the brain is responsible for all these emotions.

The most important organ for love is the brain, not the heart.

When you meet someone you like, your brain triggers the release of various chemicals into your body. These chemicals alter your mental state, and you find yourself perceiving and behaving differently from your usual self. There are many physical reactions in our bodies when we meet someone we like, but all begin in the brain.

First, it is the adrenaline

Adrenaline is one of the most interesting hormones in our bodies because it transforms our bodies into something seemingly superhuman. We have all heard stories of unusual actions across the globe, thanks to adrenaline.

A story is told of a small, petite woman who weighed a little over 111lbs who had a heated argument with her husband. In a moment of rage, the woman lifted the husband who weighed almost 260lbs high up in the air. The woman was so shocked to see him high up in her hands that she let him go. The husband fell with a thud and died instantly.

Adrenaline is secreted in our bodies by adrenal glands when we are excited. The hormone causes a myriad of changes in our bodies, suppressing some of our body’s functions while heightening others. Research shows that there is a significant positive correlation between adrenaline and attraction: As the level of adrenaline in the body increases so does the level of appeal.

Meeting someone new can be quite scary because of the uncertainties involved. Adrenaline is a survival hormone; it enables us to pursue the attraction despite the dangers involved. Some of the physical effects of adrenaline include:

  • Dilation of the eyes
  • Increased sweating
  • Faster heartbeat
  • Heightened feelings of anxiety and nervousness
  • Butterflies in the stomach.

Then there are Testosterone and Oestrogen

The body releases testosterone in both men and women and oestrogen in women. In women, oestrogen creates a longing for physical closeness and desire for sex with the person you like. Testosterone creates sexual desire, openness and seductiveness.

The human body’s immediate reaction to a potential mate is the urge to procreate

Science shows that oestrogen makes women more attractive to men. On the other hand, testosterone makes men appear more attractive to women by enabling them to achieve more masculinity.

When oestrogen strikes:

  • Women will dress more provocatively
  • They will flirt more
  • The women will have shifts in scent, skin tone and voice pitch, all which make a woman more attractive to the man.

When testosterone is released:

  • The men have a higher sexual drive
  • They appear more masculine
  • They become exceedingly attractive to women

Let us move on to Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin

This cocktail of hormones is referred to as the ‘feel good hormones’ and they are released shortly after meeting someone we like. Dopamine triggers an intense rush of pleasure.

Scientists reveal that dopamine provides the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine

Once dopamine is released into the body, it leads to:

  • Increased energy
  • Less need for sleep or food
  • More focused attention on the person whom we like
  • Exquisite delight in all the smallest details of the new person
  • Need for attention
  • Feelings of excitement and happiness

Serotonin is an essential chemical for a new relationship. Serotonin diverts the mind and binds it to think about one’s lover and nothing else.

People are engrossed in thought about the person they like 65% of the day.

Serotonin plays a significant role in balancing mood, appetite, sexual desire and sexual function. If the levels of serotonin drop; you will find yourself having an unhealthy obsession: thinking about your new partner throughout and consistently reflecting on romantic times spent with them.

Oxytocin is one of the most powerful hormones that is released equally in men and women who share romantic feelings. Oxytocin defines the depth of the love and forms attachment to the partner.

Oxytocin is also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’!

Oxytocin improves communication between partners. In a study, administration of oxytocin led to a significant boost in the ability of couples to interpret cues from each other’s eyes. Oxytocin is therefore associated with pair formation, pair maintenance and partner attachment. You need plenty of Oxytocin to strengthen your relationship!

Lastly, Vasopressin

Vasopressin is released by the brain at the end of the attraction phase. The hormone is responsible for transforming a mere attraction into a mature, committed and authentic relationship. We go through leaps to find love: we change careers, move across continents and aggressively pursue the person we are attracted to, but vasopressin is responsible for maintaining the love.

Vasopressin is also known as the monogamy chemical.

Vasopressin induces the desire to stay with that specific individual and facilitates strong emotional attachment. Vasopressin encourages behaviors that produce long-term, monogamous relationships. Vasopressin brings a feeling of calmness, security, comfort, emotional union and the desire to protect one another.

When vasopressin levels reduce in the body, the bond that a couple shares is weakened and the partners no longer willingly prevent themselves from being attracted to other people.

Understanding the right hormones

Learning about the role of the brain in our romantic relationships helps us to understand what is actually transpiring at every phase of our relationship. Also, we get to develop more realistic expectations for our relationships. Indeed, by understanding the role of particular hormones, you are able to keep the right hormones flowing for a healthy, long-term relationship.

With the information you now have, you can either blame your brain for the failure of your relationship or you can use this knowledge in your favour and build a healthy, flourishing relationship.

31 Love Affirmations – A Novice’s Guide to Attracting Love into Your Life

Using love affirmations can bring love into your life

Using love affirmations can bring love into your life

“The needs that make us human: To love, to be loved, to be accepted and to be respected.”

Do you sometimes feel like everyone else around you is enjoying a great relationship apart from you? We have all gone through these phases: when we feel like everyone else has figured out how to make relationships work; like we are the only ones who cannot find the right one. Going through repeated breakups, bad dates, loneliness and secret dreams of perfect love.

All of us have an intense desire to be loved. Indeed, the need to be loved is one of the most basic needs of a human being. Many of us associate love with happiness. We believe that we are happy as long as we are in healthy relationships. Romantic relationships are therefore the priority for so many of us.

You might have resigned yourself to single life, even though deep down you still yearn to find love. It is normal to sometimes just feel like giving up. The good news is that no matter how unpleasant your experiences have been, it is still possible to attract love.

The Law of Attraction

The law of attraction is the belief that focus on positive or negative thoughts will attract the same kind of positive or negative things into your life. In other words, your current situation is a manifestation of all the thoughts that you have been thinking in the past. The law of attraction declares that we have the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. Remember, thoughts become things.

“Whatever we can imagine and hold in the mind’s eye we can achieve.”

Every minute, whether we are doing it knowingly or unknowingly, we are acting as human magnets, sending out thoughts and emotions and attracting back more of what we have conceived.

“Life is a blank canvas possibility; you are in control of what the finished pictures could look like.”

Manifesting love and relationships with the law of attraction.

“I see love. I feel love. I am love”

The beginning of attraction teaches us that everything we attract in our lives is a direct response to our thoughts and energies. If this is the case, then we are responsible for the people that we attract into our lives.

To attract your soul mate using the law of attraction, you must first be clear about the kind of person that your soul mate is: caring, charismatic, ambitious, abundant, affectionate, creative, hardworking, etc.

Having done that, it is now time to develop and grow yourself into the kind of person that you would want to be with. In other words, if you haven’t found the right person, it is probably because you are not being the right person. The process of manifesting one’s soul mate is, therefore, an inner journey.

Using love affirmations can help you focus on inviting love into your life
Using love affirmations can help you focus on inviting love into your life

Affirmations and Finding Love

Now that you know how the law of attraction works, let us remind you that our thoughts and feelings shape our reality. Affirmations are positive statements about the desired goal. When said often enough, they can change our habits and behavior and consequently transform the environment and the people around us. Affirmations can help us in our love life.

“What you repeatedly say and think is what you get.”

Below is a list of affirmations for attracting love into your life. Choose the affirmations that appeal to your situation from the list:

  • Repeat them as many times as you want when you have some free time.
  • If you choose several affirmations, it will be wiser to concentrate on one particular affirmation at a time.
  • You can repeat the affirmations aloud, mentally or whisper them.
  • Believe the words you are repeating

The greatness of our minds is that we can think and imagine what does not exist right now and make it a reality. We can transform our loneliness into an excellent company: our unhappiness into abundant happiness. You want love in your life; you want a partner and a beautiful, harmonious relationship; all these are possible. Affirmations will inject confidence and positivity that you need to attract an abundance of love from your soul mate.

31 Love Affirmations

  1. I am ready to give and receive the love that is perfect for me in every way
  2. I am unique, and there is a person who is right just for me, and I am right just for him/her
  3. I have so much to give: I am a wonderful, loving person
  4. I am perfect just as I am and worthy of love
  5. The person that I am looking for is also looking for me
  6. I am becoming the best version of myself, and the past relationships are in the past
  7. The universe is using circumstances and events to bring me the love that I am looking for
  8. My heart is open and ready to love.
  9. I am a magnet puller and I am sending the right energy into the world to bring me the right person
  10. The right person is on the way, and they are worth waiting for
  11. I am attracting a lasting relationship
  12. The love that I seek is also seeking me
  13. Everything I do is bringing me closer to love
  14. The more I desire someone, the more they become attracted to me
  15. Love is attracted to me, and I am, and I am attracted to love.
  16. My inner beauty naturally radiates outwards
  17. I radiate unconditional love
  18. When I meet that special person, everything will just fall into place.
  19. I am filled with the vibrations of love
  20. Love is my birthright
  21. I desire love and receive it in abundance
  22. I spread love and receive it back many times over
  23. I only attract healthy loving relationships
  24. I am willing and ready to let the right man/woman for me to enter into my life now
  25. I open my heart to love, and I trust that true love will follow
  26. I desire love, so I give my love to my soul mate
  27. Everything I do aligns with the vibrations of love
  28. I am destined to be with my soul mate
  29. I am deserving of the love that I receive
  30. Love fills my soul with warmth
  31. I trust the universe will find me my perfect match

A Final Note from Me

These affirmations will help you to turn around the negative thoughts about love running through your mind. When you begin to use them consciously, you will not only start to change your thoughts but your life as well. This is because when you transform your thoughts, you change your vibrations and begin to attract love. With the right affirmations, it is possible to find love; even unconditional love.

“From this moment on, I am attracting my soul mate, and in time to come we will meet and be forever bound in love and light.”

If you’d like to hear more about the science of how to attract love and relationships into your life, then go here.

Otherwise you can contact me here with any questions or queries